What to Do if You Think Your Spouse is Spying on You

Everyone has a right to certain privacies, even from your spouse. If you discover that your spouse may be spying on you, you will likely feel your personal space has been invaded and your trust has been betrayed. Whether you believed yourself to be happily married or headed toward divorce, when your spouse starts spying it could indicate some serious marital issues.

Regardless of whether or not you have anything to hide, the actions of a snooping spouse can lead to very complicated problems, especially if you are already in the beginning stages of divorce.

Reasons for Spying

There are many reasons someone might spy on their spouse. One of the most common reasons for spying is to determine if the spouse is cheating. However, spouses might also snoop to find out who you are talking to, what you are doing with your free time, what money you are spending and where, and other details of your life. They also might be cheating themselves or have other secrets they wish to hide and spy on you to see if you are suspicious.

If you are headed toward divorce, or are already going through the divorce process, your spouse might also spy on you to find evidence to use against you in court.

Snooping for Evidence

If your spouse is spying on you in order to find information to use against you in court, it is extremely important that you protect yourself. While it is illegal to use stolen evidence in court, it is possible to find loopholes. If your spouse learns something incriminating while spying on you, but hides the evidence, that information could come back to haunt you.

Potential Dangers of Spying

Some people may look to prove their spouse is cheating to obtain more money in the divorce. However, because Washington is a no-fault divorce state, this will not affect alimony or property division directly. However, certain evidence could be used to impact child custody, child support, or alimony in different ways. A snooping spouse could find proof of planned vacations or large expenses, which could hurt your chances of receiving alimony or might affect how assets are divided in court. Pictures or other evidence of drinking or doing drugs could be seriously damaging in child custody cases and could hurt your relationship with your children, too. Even if the photos are misrepresented, they could still harm your case in court.

How to Protect Yourself

If you suspect your spouse of spying, you should take immediate action to protect your privacy. If you and your spouse live together, keep your private documents locked away or stored at a friend or family member’s house where your spouse can not get to them.

Also, protect your computer, tablet, and phone with new passwords that your spouse will not know. Choose obscure, strong passwords as opposed to memorable dates or names that your spouse could easily guess. If you think your spouse may have installed spyware on your phone, consider doing a factory reset (after backing up your important data, photos, etc.) or having your phone checked by a professional.

As for your social media accounts, it would be much safer if you refrained from posting anything during your divorce. Your posts or shared pictures from friends could be used against you in court and simply aren’t worth the risk. Even if you aren’t social media “friends” with your spouse, they could still obtain information about your social media activity from other mutual friends.

Share any concerns or evidence of spying with your divorce attorney before you take actions against your spouse. They can provide you with a rundown of what is legal, what isn’t, and the appropriate responses that will help you with your divorce case.