Preparing for Divorce: A Quick Guide

The Importance of Preparation

While divorce is an emotionally charged process, taking steps to prepare beforehand can significantly benefit you in the long run. Proactive preparation allows for a more measured approach, empowering you to make informed decisions about your future.

Steps to Take When Preparing for Divorce

Consider How You Wish to Proceed

Seeking legal counsel early in the process is a strategically crucial first step.  A divorce lawyer acts as a guide and advocate throughout the proceedings, ensuring your rights and interests are protected.

Consulting with a lawyer can empower you to:

• Understand your legal options. Divorce laws vary by state. An attorney can explain the legal framework that will govern your case, including issues like property division, spousal support, and child custody (if applicable). This knowledge empowers you to make informed decisions throughout the process.
• Begin strategically planning how you will move forward. An attorney can help you develop a roadmap for your divorce, considering your goals and priorities.
• Determine what alternatives to trial are possible. If you and your spouse can communicate somewhat civilly, mediation or collaborative divorce can be a less adversarial and potentially cheaper way to reach an agreement. An attorney can help you figure out if you wish to proceed with negotiations, arbitration, or another collaborative approach; they can also advise you on how they would approach your case if your spouse is uncooperative and your case proceeds to trial.

Complete Some Financial Preparations

Divorce affects many different aspects of your life, including your finances. To prepare yourself financially and have documents needed to support your alimony and property division case, you should take the following steps:

• Gather financial documents. Make sure you have access to and collect copies of tax returns, bank statements, investment records, mortgage statements, and paystubs for the past few years.
• Understand your marital assets and debts. Identify everything you and your spouse own together (property, cars, retirement accounts) and owe (credit cards, loans).
• Open separate bank accounts. Start separating your finances to avoid commingling funds during the divorce process.
• Review your credit report. Ensure accuracy and consider establishing your own credit if you haven't already. You will also want to take note of any shared debt that appears on your credit report.
• Create a budget for your future. Estimate your post-divorce expenses to understand your financial needs.

Address Logistical Concerns

Preparing for your divorce can also involve considering logistics. You will need to do the following:

• Decide on living arrangements. Will you stay in the marital home or find separate housing?
• Minimize communication with your spouse. Focus on essential divorce-related and childcare-related discussions. What you say to your spouse, especially angry or seemingly aggressive messages, can be used against you in court if your divorce goes to trial. Even something seemingly innocent can be twisted or misconstrued.
• Discuss temporary custody and child-related arrangements. The court can issue temporary custody orders that outline who the child will live with and who can make parenting-related decisions until the final order is made. You should also discuss the coming changes and the divorce with your children to help them prepare for this transition.
• Separate important belongings. Secure any sentimental items or valuables you want to keep separate. It is important to note that you should not hide assets. Concealing assets means that you perjure yourself by failing to accurately and honestly disclose assets, and you can face serious consequences if the court finds that you hid anything.

Other Considerations

Some additional considerations when preparing for divorce include:

• Update passwords and account information. Change your passwords for email, bank accounts, and social media to protect your privacy.
• Prioritize self-care. Divorce can take its toll on you, so you should make sure you set aside time to recharge. Also, maintain healthy habits like eating well, exercising, and getting enough sleep.
• Be mindful of what you share with others. During a divorce, maintaining discretion about the details is crucial. While seeking emotional support from friends and family is understandable, be mindful of what you share, both online and in person. Unguarded comments, particularly venting frustrations or assigning blame, can be misconstrued or even used in legal proceedings. Anything you share can potentially be used to influence your case. For instance, a seemingly innocent post about spending a lot of money on vacation can be used to imply you are not sharing the full scope of your assets or income with the court.

Working With a Divorce Attorney

It is best to consult an attorney as early in the process as possible – when you have decided you want to divorce, if you think your spouse is about to initiate a divorce, or if you have been served a divorce petition. If you have already started the process, consulting with an attorney can help make sure that your rights are being protected.

It is also best to discuss your divorce with a reputable family law attorney who has experience and expertise in cases like yours. They can help you understand your options and guide you through the process. Contact our client services team to learn more about McKinley Irvin and our attorneys.